Powerless
by Supreme-Chickenlord
Summary: Sadness nodded, and looked up at the ceiling. On her face was a pensive expression. She then turned and walked over to the couch. I watched as she sat down on top of a cushion. "Come.", she said as she motioned to me. "Let us sit together and talk." Reviews are appreciated.
1. Chapter 1

**This is all (mostly) new. I do indeed read reviews, so if you have a suggestion, feel free to post it as a review. That doesn't mean I'll accept it, but I might.  
**

* * *

I'm Joy. Yep. No fancy introduction here.

I just want to begin my autobiography by saying that... well... I've made a few... idiotic mistakes in the past.

Well, a few is an understatement...

I'm Joy, as previously stated, and I was manifested on the first day of November, when Nedward was "born".

That moment... The intense emotions of realizing that you were a complex being capable of so much was a powerful thing, in fact, the realization was so overpowering that I had to catch my breath.

Then, as the moment went on, I began to feel the sensations of the world around me, the unconscious movement of my body as I stepped towards the huge button in the front of the structure. I placed my hands on it, and watched as a glow swirled and formed over it, a golden glow. I heard a grunt from outside... and a cough from inside.

I turned to my left to discover a short, blue being, with their hands on edges of the button. I removed my hands from the button.

The console was glowing a vibrant, calm blue. Outside, whines and moans could clearly be heard.

I smiled, and attempted to introduce myself, but since I had no idea of what English was, or what it even sounded like, what I said was not in English.

"Hey there, I see you're... uh... doing your job. Quite well, I'd say."

I listened for a response. When I didn't get one, I turned back to the button.

"Thanks. I'm Sadness."

"I'm, uh... Joy."

We engaged in an awkward handshake. She didn't even look away from the screen.

After a few minutes passed, she moved from the button.

"It's your turn."

"What? But... you were doing such a good Job-Oh..."

My instinctual emotional senses kicked in almost immediately after I had finished that statement.

I approached the button slowly, exhaling deeply as I applied pressure. I heard outside voices saying things. At the time, I couldn't comprehend them. They were saying things about sedatives and how to know if something worked. They then mentioned things about electrodes and brainwaves. I felt a sharp pressure, and everything went dark.


	2. Chapter 2

**Be prepared for a lot of exposition in the first few chapters.**

* * *

When I awoke, something was... not the same. Everything looked the same, but didn't feel the same.

I got out of the foldable bed, and walked over to the console. I saw Sadness was tapping intricately at the button, gently touching different areas.

"Hey.", I said.

She gave an inattentive wave, still staring intently at the screen.

"So...", I said, rubbing the back of my neck. "So, Sadness... does anything feel... unnatural to you?"

"Well... I... I'm not really sure. After waking up, however, I did notice that the room felt... Well, it felt too developed."

I watched as she withdrew her hands from the button, and looked at me.

"Hm... Joy, it's your turn."

I placed my hands on the button, and I suddenly knew what Sadness was doing.

I imitated her gestures perfectly, my emotional wiring giving my body instructions. Outside, I heard a giggle, and a voice.

"Hey...", a soft female voice said.

"Neddy, wake up."

Soon, the room started to brighten significantly.

And that's how our true "life" began.

Over the course of the next few years, our "life" only became more, uh... abnormal. Very early on, a 'thing' appeared in Headquarters. This 'thing' was a computer. It had a connection to something that we, at the time, called the "Neural Network". We later learned of the internet and began to call it the "External Network".

Yeah. His mind had access to the internet... I'm just going to leave it at that. I don't really want to get into detail about it.

Well, anyway... back to the story.

As time went on, things only got more and more hectic. Soon, more and more figures started appearing in HQ, we found out about YouTube... but the security system prevented us from registering accounts individually. So, we influenced Nedward to start an account.


	3. Chapter 3

"Joy, are you sure this is a good idea?"

"No.", I stated simply as I intricately typed something into the console.

"Joy, this is stupid. The internet? Full of random people that I-or we, for that matter-don't even know."

"Relax, Disgust. We're 16. We'll be fine. And besides, we can't get viruses in here. The brain is too complex for that."

Disgust scoffed, and went on to express more of her concerns... which, in hindsight, I should have more readily listened to.

"But Joy, we didn't even consult our parents. What if they find out and punish us in some way?"

I slowly turned to face her.

"We've been a good person for ninety-nine point ninety-nine percent of our lives. Why would they punish us over something as trivial as a YouTube account?"

I heard a voice come from my left-hand side.

"Sonder, Joy. Empathy as well. They go hand in hand. Do not forget how much our parents are willing to sacrifice to give us a good life."

"But I just-Ah, okay. Fine. We'll... go talk to them. Get their personal opinion. Whatever you request, Sadness."

Sadness gave me a relieved smile. "Thanks Joy."

I entered a few simple commands into the console.

* * *

"Hey, mom... may I ask you something?"

"Of course you can, Ned. Why would I say no? We're always here for you if you need something."

Nedward breathed a sigh.

"Oh... okay, well... can I get a YouTube account?"

Nedward's mom was a little surprised about her son's hesitance. After all, it was just a YouTube account.

"Uh... sure. Why not? You don't always need to ask me, you know that, right Nedward?"

"Well, I-thanks, but I... just felt it would be the right thing to do."

"Oh, well that's fine of you, Ned, but I don't want you to feel obligated to come to me every time you have to make a decision. Sometimes, life just throws a curveball, and you just have to catch it... or, in this case, YouTube throws an account, and you just have to register it."

Nedward smiled.

"That's fine mom. Thank you for listening."

"No problem, Ned. Just remember that not everything you hear on the internet is true."

"Common knowledge, mom. But thanks."

* * *

"And... we're in the clear!"

"But what will the password be?"

"Will it be secure? I hope it's secure."

"What is the account going to be called? I'd hope we don't get stuck with N3dw3rd."

"That's probably taken as well, Disgust. Now, what about Abcde12345?"

"As long as the password isn't '1234' or 'qwerty' I'm fine... or abc123, qwerty123, monkey, l33t..."

"Alright, everyone... just-just hold up for a second, alright?"

Everyone looked at Joy with curiosity.

"How about we get a password manager? Then, we can set the password to anything outlandish we want."

"Hm, good idea, Great thinking, Joy."

"Don't mention it. Now... what password manager should we use?"

"Lastpass!"

"1Password sounds promising."

"KeePass, maybe?"

"How about a text document?"

"Oh, really? Come on now, Sadness, you can't get any less secure than that!"

"It... it was just a suggestion."

"Yeah. A really bad one, at that."

"Okay, now you're just being a dick."

"I'M being the dick?"

"Yes. Indeed, you are."

"Says the one with the short fuse."

"I've learned to control it quite well, you know. In fact, you're one of the ONLY emotions in HQ who actively insults others' appearances. Oh, the racist shit you've said, makes me want to take that big green head of yours, and shove it right into your own-"

"Everyone! Please, stop acting like immature 5-year-olds and work together. How about we try Wikipedia for a list of password managers, hm?"

A memory pops into the view area.

"GAH! It's the damn 'Inside Out' theme again. I mean, it's a great theme and all, but now we can't focus!"

"Ah, I remember that movie, it made me want to cry, even more so than usual... Didn't you even shed a tear, Joy?"

"Well, I... Let's not dwell on that, shall we?"

"Shall we what?"

"Uh, pfft. Nothing. Of course, nothing."

"Uh, Joy? Are you feeling okay? Do you want to talk about it?"

"Yes, eheh. Indeed I am! Now, let's get back to it, shall we?"

"Uh, okay then..."

"Oh! The circle of Sadness! Ergh! Makes me want to... Gah!"

"Why does she have such a pure hatred for broccoli? I mean, I can understand not liking the food in general, but... she just flat-out hates it. With a passion. Like, it dishonored her family or something!"

"Maybe it's because it's green and she's racist."

"Sadness, I swear to the emotion of the highest degree of disgust that if you you make another stupid suggestion, I will-"

"Disgust, that's enough. I was making a joke."

"Not a very good one either way... Anyways, can I use the console now? I feel like now's my time to be in the spotlight."

"Eh... well..."

"Oh, come on now."

"Urm..."

"You're kidding me."

"Eh... well..."

"Guys! We still haven't decided on a password!"

"Oh no! What if we're hacked!?"

"People can't HACK us if we don't HAVE an account!"

"Will everyone just take a moment to relax-"

"What will we even name the account!?"

"Uh, I-I don't know!? Pleasedonthackme62?"

Everyone paused and looked at Fear.

"I-it's a 'no' then? D-don't hurt me please!"

We all gave Fear a puzzled look.

"What? No. Why would we ever want to hurt you?"

"Heh, oh y-yeah."

As the time passed, we eventually created an account.

The name we chose was 'nedwardsoconfused172'.


	4. Chapter 4

Later that night, as Nedward was preparing to sleep, we all sat down and recounted the most memorable moments throughout the day.

"Heh, thanks Joy.", Fear said calmly as I handed her her tea.

"No problem, Fear", I replied. Just as I did that, Anger pointed at the viewscreen.

"Hey guys, Nedward's closing his eyes in 3... 2... 1... aaaaand we're out!"

My joy grew at this news. Time for some well-deserved relaxation time.

"Well everyone, get to your sleeping quarters and I'll... well... Oh, I almost forgot! Who wants the maintenance shift?"

"Eh, well..."

"Not really..."

"Nuh-uh. Not me."

"I-I'd rather not... I could really use some sleep."

I looked at the lineup before me, and thought carefully for a while.

"So, Disg-No, Fear... wait, Ang-"

"I'll go."

Everyone, including me, looked at Sadness.

"B-but wh-Sadness, aren't you tired? I mean, you did work pretty hard today... Are you sure you don't want to rest?"

"Joy, I've made up my mind. If none of the others want to do it, then I guess I have no choice."

The others started to make their way to their rooms.

"But... well... a-uh... alright then. I'll see you in the morning, then."

I started to ascend the stairway to my room.

"Joy, wait!"

I paused and looked back towards Sadness.

"Hm?"

She looked at me with a hesitant expression, her hands fiddling nervously with her sweater.

"May... may you, um... may you join me... down... here? I know you're tired, but... Look, Joy I... I just want to talk."

I slowly descended the stairs, my mind filling with concern for Sadness's well-being.

"Sure, Sadness. What's up? Is there a problem?"

"Well I, uh... Joy..."

I could see the pain growing on her face.

"Hm? Hey, Sadness, what's... what's wrong?"

"Joy, I just... I just can't..."

"What... what happened? Did I hurt you? Please, tell me what's wrong!"

"Oh, Joy, I..."

The tears that were building up in her eyes finally released.

"S-Sadness! Oh my g-Are you-Oh gosh!"

I rushed over to console her.

I wrapped my arms around her in a comforting position, her face buried into my shoulder.

I gently stroked her back as she cried her anxiety out.

"Come on now, relax... breathe... deep breaths... that's it, now... what was it that you wanted to talk about?"

I removed her face from my shoulder and put my hands onto hers as I lowered down to eye level.

She let out a few more sniffles before finally moving on to speak.

"I-I'm sorry, Joy. T-this has been bothering me for a while..."

She paused to take a breath and regain her composure.

"A-after seeing Inside Out, I started to become very paranoid..."

She looked into my eyes.

"Joy, you... you wouldn't ever... y-you..."

She took another deep breath.

"You..."

She slowly started sobbing again.

"You... you wouldn't... s-shove me into a... a c-corner, would you? You wouldn't, right? You wouldn't s-... s-suppress me, would you?"

I felt the full weight of the question fall on top of me.

I answered, with an honest and genuine mindset.

"S-Sadness, I... of course not! Wha-... Why would I ever do that!?"

She looked at the ground forlornly.

I continued.

"I... I mean, life, without you... would be pretty hard. Not to mention how much I love spending time with you."

She looked up at me with sad, yet somewhat relieved eyes.

"Well, I mean... EVERYONE is equally important. Don't think that just because we're technically considered 'opposites', that we're not equals as well. Do not underestimate your ability to contribute to Nedward's mind."

"Oh, I see... T-thank you, Joy"

Her sniffles reduced to deep breathing, and her frown slowly normalized back into a straight line.

Then her eyes suddenly became thoughtful.

After a moment, she spoke, this time asking another question.

"What about Disgust?"

"Well... including Disgust, she's..."

She gave me a confused look.

"What do you mean?"

I tried to think of some other things to say.

"Well, I... Disgust is a... well..."

"Hm?"

"Well, she... doesn't get along very well with Anger. At all."

Sadness nodded, and looked up at the ceiling. On her face was a pensive expression.

She then turned and walked over to the couch.

I watched as she sat down on top of a cushion.

"Come.", she said as she motioned to me. "Let us sit together and talk."


	5. Chapter 5

**Fixed formatting and made things look a lot nicer. Reviews are appreciated.**

* * *

The next morning, I awoke to find myself sleeping on the couch. In front of me was a cup of coffee.

"Good morning, Joy", Sadness said as I sat up.

"Yeah... That was a good talk we had last night."

"Uh... yeah... last night."

I looked at Sadness, confused.

"Hm? Sadness, are you okay?"

"Well, Joy... last night, we... Nedward had a nightmare."

I looked at her, alarmed.

"What!? What happened?"

"Well, I... it's way too sad, but-"

"Morning."

"Good morning."

"Well, that sleep was... unpleasant."

"I-I f-felt s-s-so unsettled... I couldn't sleep!"

"What happened last night, guys?"

"W-well I fell asleep and Sadness... well..."

"Nedward had a nightmare..."

"Oh! Oh that's... that's bad. What was it about?"

"Well it... it was about..."

She took a deep breath.

"Well..."

We all looked at her in concern.

"Come on, Sadness! You have to tell us!"

She threw her hands up in frustration, and turned toward the couch.

"I wish I could! I also wish that I would stop being asked about it, alright!?", she sharply retorted.

We all paused, a mixture of shock and worry on our faces.

"Sadness, are... are you... doing okay?"

She let out a shaky sigh.

"I'm... I'm not... sure if I can keep it together, guys. I... I just feel kinda bad right now."

Fear looked at her with an inquisitive expression.

"Oh, that's... that's terrible. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"I... I don't know."

"Guys! Nedward's awake! We need to be working."

"Then why isn't the console active?"

"Because he's still waking up."

"He seems to be in a very sleepy state."

"What time is it?"

"I don't know, let's find out."

"I hope it's not too late outside."

Fear typed something into the console.

* * *

Nedward sat up, his heart still pounding from the imagery of the dream. He glanced at the blinds that covered his windows. Behind them, he could see the blue early morning glow.

He looked at his clock. The time read 5:38 AM.

He yawned, and laid his head back down for a couple more seconds.

 _I guess I should just get up now. I mean, it's unlikely that I'll manage to fall back to sleep._

He closed his eyes again, and rolled over, attempting to go back to sleep. Eventually, his impatience grew too strong, and he finally got out of bed.

* * *

"What shall we do now?"

"Uh, take a shower? Get a snack? I don't know!"

"Ugh, We're bored.", Disgust said as she reached for the console.

"Ah, great. Just what we need, a sour mood.", Anger said harshly.

"What? It's not like I'm breaking any rules. It's my turn."

"Yeah. Okay, sure. Fine. Go ahead, make him feel miserable. Make him feel inadequate. Make him feel like he DOESN'T BELONG!"

"Anger! That's enough. She's just doing her job."

"And so am I. Believe me, Joy, if she stopped always butting in, we'd be WAY happier."

At that comment, Sadness shifted uncomfortably.

"Are you kidding? I barely even get to use the damn device!"

"That's because every time you use it, you just make things worse!"

"Same for you. All you do is make Nedward feel aggravated."

"Hey! Sometimes aggression is necessary to get the point across!"

"Then why would it be ANY different for me? Why would it be any different for ANY of us? Why not harp on Sadness for a change? I mean, we're both 'negative' emotions, right?"

"You leave Sadness OUT of this! Sadness is important, and you KNOW it!", Anger said through his teeth, his head starting to heat up.

"Oh, look. Losing your cool? Go ahead, it's not like it will change much of anything!"

Anger started to breathe heavily.

"Shut... the hell u-"

"C-come on, Anger, don't get pushy now. Y-you know we won't like it!"

Fear watched nervously as Anger completely ignored him, still breathing heavily.

"Anger, please don-"

"BE QUIET! I'm thinking!"

Everyone waited silently for a few more minutes, waiting to see what would happen. Then, unexpectedly, Anger turned and walked away.

"You're right."

Disgust expression turned into one of disbelief.

"...What?"

"I SAID YOU'RE RIGHT!"

Anger entered his room, and semi-slammed the door in a rough and agitated manner.

"A-... a-anyways, back to the... the... the console. Yeah..."

Disgust awkwardly fiddled with the buttons on the console.

"Hey, uh... Joy, how's this thing work again?"

"Oh, uh... let's see... um..."

I pulled out a mind manual titled "PANEL CONTROLS: VOL. 1".

I flipped to the Table of Contents

"Hold on... I've kinda forgotten the names of the different inputs over time as I more or less do it out of muscle memory."

I looked through the different titles.

"Let's see... uh no that's not it... no... no... no... n-oh oh wait here it is!"

I handed the manual to her.

"Just read through this and you'll be fine."

"But Joy, I-"

"You're okay, Disgust. Just read that page, and you'll be fine."

"Joy, that's not the problem..."

"Oh, don't worry, Disgust. I'm sure you'll be fi-"

"JOY! Just let me speak! I can't read this right now because I'm USING THE CONSOLE!"

"Oh."

I felt sort of embarrassed that I'd acted so obliviously. _Come on, Joy, what's gotten you so... sloppy?_ , I thought to myself.

"Well, then... read it when you can, I guess."

I walked absently towards the couch.

"Hey, guys, if you can-"

"AH!"

"Hey, what was that?"

"Did we step on a Lego?"

"No... no, we didn't we almost tripped."

"Ugh. And we stepped in food... or something."

Disgust pressed a button. A memory came rolling down the mechanism into its place in short term.

"There. Problem solved."

"U-uh oh... Disgust, do you understand the implications of what you just did?"

"Uh, yeah? I do. I created a memory. What's... what's so wrong with that?"

Fear looked at her, her eyes pleading for her to understand. Eventually, she let out a sigh of defeat.

"Just... b-be careful, okay?"

Disgust gave a simple, dismissive grunt. "Yeah, yeah. Sure... Will do, will do."

"G-great! Thank you, Disgust!"

She yawned and rubbed her eyes. "No problem, Fear..."

* * *

"Why can't-why can't I just understand HER, of all people!? She's DISGUST, practically my equal, and yet... if opposites attract, do equals repel? In physics, yes... but..."

His mind suddenly turned towards a more peculiar detail.

"Is that why Joy and Sadness are so... inseparable?"

His mind turned towards the thought of a scene from "Inside Out".

"Am I really that immature? I mean, that's the Anger of a preteen, but..."

Suddenly, his mind filled with a question.

"What IS Inside Out supposed to be, anyways? An exploration of the mind? How is it so accurate?"

He started to pace around his room.

"Well, I mean... MINDS wrote it, but... it... scares me to think..."

He felt his mind reject the notion of inwards thinking.

"GAH! What is with me right now? I'm thinking too deeply into all of this... or... maybe..."

He shrugged, and walked towards his door.

"Perhaps Nedward should do yoga, or perhaps just some other form of meditation."

He opened his door and stepped outside.

* * *

"So, Joy-Oh hey look! Anger's out! Hey Ange-"

Anger held up a finger to silence Fear.

"Just... just look, guys... I want you to understand... I'm not trying to be confrontational here. It's... just that I'm stressed."

He waited for a response. Sadness gave him one.

"Anger, I think we've all been a little stressed out lately. Even Joy, the most calm and optimistic one in our group, is a little flustered."

I felt my mind jolt at that statement. My face warmed up, and my small smile grew into an uncomfortable, embarrassed one.

"Uh, Sadness, can I... talk with you for a minute?"

"Hm? Oh, uh, sure."

We walked over to the window. She looked at me, concerned.

"Yes?"

I gave a nervous laugh. Sadness blinked, confused.

"Sadness, I... I appreciate that you're trying to build morale, but can you please just... leave my emotions out of this, hm?", I said quietly to her.

"Oh, uh... but why? What's wrong, Joy?"

"Well, I...", I tried to think of an answer, but my mind only came up with nothing.

She thought quietly for a minute. "Joy, are you feeling okay...? You don't... you don't seem to like to express yourself. All of the other emotions are vocal about their concerns. You... just sit silently, sometimes with a pensive expression. You haven't been very cheerful lately."

I felt my face grow warmer. _Uh oh_ , I thought.

I gave a nervous laugh.

"Oh, come on, Sadness! Are you serious? I'm... I'm always cheerful!"

"Well, I... uh..."

"You see? Just fine! I'm... feeling really nice... right now."

She didn't seem to be persuaded by it. She paused for a minute.

"Joy, what's... what's bothering you? Why don't you ever talk about it? You've acted so... distant for the past several days. Why?"

My mind raised a red flag. Sadness was really starting to push it.

I gave another dismissive laugh. "Well, I guess we all should be getting back to wor-"

"JOY! Listen to me!"

Everyone stopped what they were doing to watch. I looked around desperately, trying to find anything to use to change the subject. My patience began to falter. I looked at Sadness, my smile now weakening.

I whispered sternly to her, "Sadness, stop! You're making a huge spectacle!"

"I know", she said, "but you still won't talk!"

I gave a quiet, frustrated groan. "Well, wh-You know what? I have my reasons. You shouldn't really be asking me these kinds of things."

"But, you never talk about it."

"Like I said, I have my reasons."

Sadness sat silently for a minute, the pained expression on her face fluctuating.

Then, her expression morphed into that of determination and frustration.

"Alright, fine then, Joy. Because if you ever have something making you feel like crap, don't share it, because you're "strong enough" to handle it by yourself."

She walked towards the console.

"Just so you know, Joy, I can see right through your calm, optimistic nature. It's as if you don't want to be viewed as sad."

I looked at her with a confused, conflicted expression. She turned towards the console.

"And that, in my opinion, hurts more than being repressed myself."

That was all she needed to say before my mind went over the edge.

A frown slowly spread across my face. I felt as though Sadness had taken this from a small concern to a whole new personal level. My teeth locked, and a low growl started to exit my mouth. I locked my eyes on Sadness, my body filling with such fury that I no longer felt like Joy anymore.

I grabbed Sadness by the arm, and tore her away from the console. I spun her aggressively to face me. "Joy, what the hell are you-"

"QUIET!"

"But, Joy-"

"I SAID FOR YOU TO BE QUIET!"

Sadness's eyes changed from confused to fearful. This was the first time she'd ever seen me like this.

"J-...Joy, l-listen, please...?"

I looked into her eyes. I could see the fear in them. I didn't care, however. I wasn't going to be sympathetic.

"No... you listen."

I stepped closer as she stepped backwards. "J-Joy, no, I... s-s-stop!"

She tried to rush for the console, but I grabbed the back of her shirt and pulled her back. She let out a scream of terror.

"Joy!"

I opened my mouth slowly, and felt myself getting angrier as I did so.

"Joy, I didn't mean to make you angry! Please, Joy, I'm... I'm sorry!"

My anger grew.

"Joy...?"

I clenched my fists tightly.

"J-Joy? Please..."

I started to shake.

"Jo-"

Finally, I released my fury in an angry yell that visibly shook everyone, even Anger.

"NEVER, EVER SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT AGAIN!"

"But... Joy, I-"

"NO!"

I shoved Sadness away. She slammed into the console, hard. I suddenly felt my anger dissipate. The others looked at me with gaping mouths.

"Sadness! A-are you okay? I..."

Sadness didn't respond. I approached her. I felt the strongest guilt I'd ever experienced.

"Sadness, I-"

I was cut off by shaky sobs emanating from her, as she laid on her front. I looked at the others. They all just silently stared at me.

"Sadness, I... no... I didn't intend-"

I fell to my knees in front of Sadness. "Sadness..."

I sat there silently as Sadness cried. I felt absolutely awful.

Eventually, though, Sadness stood up. She didn't even look at me, she just kept on sniffling and crying.

"Sadness, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean..."

Sadness turned to me, her crying reducing to only deep breaths. She looked down at the floor. I could practically feel the hurt in her expression. It was not her usual hurt expression, though. It was deep, personal.

She turned away again, still not saying anything.

"Sadness, please, I..."

She didn't respond. I watched as she stood silently, and waited for her to do something.

"Sadness..."

She simply started walking towards her room.

"Sadness... please... forgive me..."

She ignored me, her steps progressing from a walk into a run. As I continued to plead, she simply looked on as she went into her room.

"Sad-"

She shut her door, and I heard the click of the lock as she locked it.

I sat on my knees by the console, breathing heavily. With my mind unable to think of anything else, I just stared at the ground.

Then, after what was probably an hour, I stood up, and ran into my room.

Once inside, I rushed to my bed and hastily jumped into it. I attempted to hold back my tears.

"I..."

I felt myself growing more and more pained with each second, the repressed Sadness I kept buried for about 17 years finally starting to find its way out. I attempted to hold myself together. I buried my face into my pillow. "N-no, I won't cry... I can't cry... d-don't cry... stay happy-oh, just FORGET IT!"

I sat up and threw my pillow at my door in a frustrated, defeated manner. The pillow hit the door with enough force to make the door rattle.

"I... no, I WON'T cry! Certainly not over something as... as..."

I let out a sigh, and rolled over.

"I won't... I will not!"

I felt my Sadness worsening as I attempted to block it out. My breathing started to become more shaky and shallow. I started to think of the incident again.

"I..."

I felt the tears start to build up again.

"No!"

I forcefully turned my mind towards something else.

"Not like this... I can't let this type of thing happen... again..."

I finally started to drift towards sleep, the sad thoughts parting to reveal my dream world. But as I started to see the utopia that was my Happy Place, I heard Sadness's voice echo faintly throughout my mind.

"And that, in my opinion, hurts more than being repressed myself."


End file.
